Missionaries Can Now Call Home! What That Means:
On February 15th, the Church announced missionaries can now call, text or video chat their families weekly on P-day. Now that everyone is past the initial shock and excitement of that announcement, we explore the other potential effects of this new policy:
- Parents who were awakened by their kids at 3am for years are now celebrating the opportunity to wake up willingly at 3am to talk to them on their missions.
- They now get to wake up at 3am weekly instead of just twice a year.
- Soon you’ll be able to follow your missionary on Twittelder and Sistagram!
- Now missionaries won’t be 2 years behind on their texting lingo.
- Missionaries just got a new way to be trunky.
- Elders will start calling their girlfriends “mom.”
- Next the church will be developing missionary video games to missionaries’ video game addictions.
- Instead of meeting missionaries at the airport, parents can now text their missionaries: “Take an Uber. You know where we live.”
- Missionaries will be able to recognize their little brother when they get home.
- The Church’s cell phone bill just rose 3000%.
- Parents won’t be surprised by their missionaries’ funny accents when they arrive home.
- Dads will start positioning the webcam with football games on TV conspicuously behind themselves during video calls.
- The mission president can now expect calls each P-day from any parents that did not get a call from their missionary.
- Instead of trying to fit 6 months into a phone call home, missionaries will be able to return to the awkward: “What did you do on your mission this week?” “Nothing.”
- This may lead to a revolt when missionaries realize they have one less hour for basketball every P-day.